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Brides, I’ve Got to Tell You

Don’t plan your wedding in the Fall. You have one more weekend to get married and then you need to wait until winter time.

If you decide to get married on September 1st, I can tell you I am not coming. It’s my birthday, after all, and I might miss a college football game.

Not cool.

If you are marrying an Auburn fan, you might as well just forget about it, too. The bride groom isn’t showing up. The Tigers have a big game against northwest powerhouse, Washington. Husky fans

might not like it, either, but they aren’t as hardcore as SEC fans like Auburn. They’ll probably show up, but they’ll be disgruntled. If you want a gruntled husband, get married in the summer time, or the spring. Maybe plan a big winter wedding, but forget about the fall and getting married on a college football Saturday.

Just don’t do it, and you were warned here before.

I haven’t even brought up Michigan and Notre Dame. Those two old giants are meeting on September 1st, also,

Unlike brides, the people at Michigan and Notre Dame actually considered my birthday and wanted to do something for me. You brides, on the other hand, didn’t care one iota about me, or my feelings, and especially college football fans’ feelings. The fans of Michigan and Notre Dame have had nothing to do all summer long and then they do, and you brides want to go and do this to them? I don’t think that’s very nice.

Well, I suppose you could move your wedding date to September 8th.

Wait, that’s even worse.

Georgia is going to be really good in 2018 and you brides think a Georgia Bulldog fan is going to be happy about having to miss a big game against South Carolina? I think you are mistaken.

South Carolina fans are not going to like it much, either. I am not going to like it at all. Either, go to the Justice of the Peace, or forget about it entirely. With a bad attitude like you have, bride, your

marriage might not be a very strong one, anyway. Learn to consider the feelings of other people, how about?

Clemson is going to be really good and they travel to College Station, Texas to take on the Aggies of Texas A%M. These guys are just not going to be very happy with missing their football game for a wedding. Both Tiger fans and Aggie fans are pretty hard core and they are not going to go to a wedding when there’s good college football to watch.

Kentucky is a basketball school, so they may not mind missing a football game, but their opponents, the Florida Gators are not going to take kindly to a wedding interfering with one of their games.

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There are also a couple of good rivalry games like Penn State at Pittsburgh and Iowa State at Iowa that college football fans might find interesting. Brides insisting on this weekend for a wedding are going to make enemies when it’s just not necessary.

It could have been avoided with better planning.

Picking September 15th is going to be a mistake, also.

Alabama at Ole Miss? Come on, brides.

LSU at Auburn? Ohio State at TCU? USC at Texas?

None of those fans are going to be really happy about a wedding on this weekend. Brides, you aren’t making any friends with this weekend picked as your wedding day. Besides, any anniversary dates in the future could wind up on a Saturday and more football games.

So, maybe you brides want to skip on to the following weekend?

Nah, that one won’t work, either. When are brides going to understand that dream weddings are just not going to happen in the fall. Blame your grooms all you want, but the decision is yours to have the wedding at another time of the year. Let’s make that happen, brides. It’s all on you.

The 22nd and the 29th of September will not be any better.

A lot of avid college football fans are going to be upset if you force them to miss their favorite college teams come September.

Let’s face it, the summer has been long and brutal. College football fans have been bored and eager for information on their teams going into 2018. Missing an early season football game, or any football game is just brutal on us guys.

The grooms, the fathers, the best men, even the ring bearer boy, want to watch some college football and we could just use a break. Brides have the rest of the year to impose their weddings on us guys, but they want to wait until the fall.

I don’t have a single family member with plans to get married this fall, so I can freely say this. I am boycotting all fall weddings in 2018, just like I boycotted them last season, too.

But, for the rest of the men of the world, brides please consider the football fans of your family. There are many of us.